Musings
by when.it.rains91
Summary: Musings on the relationships of the Team 7 members in their own POV's.
1. Naruto

**Naruto**

Why do I love him?

Easy. He's my best friend. Even now, when he hates every single one of us, when all he wants to do is rip into us with the nearest pointy object, he's the only one I can ever look at like a brother.

I wanted to be him. He was my role model and my inspiration for living. I envied the ease with which he manipulated the crowd, his ability to play it cool in any situation. _That's what I want. To be him._

I hated him for the acceptance, the recognition that he got from everyone. I hated that everyone was willing to bend over backwards to accommodate him, the Last Uchiha, when those same people wouldn't even look at me on the street. I hated him for being so cold to those who accepted him when I would have given any number of limbs to be accepted.

But then I got to know him better. He had the same insecurities I did and suffered from the same weaknesses that I did. He might not have had a Jinchuuriki living inside of him, but his demons were just as real as mine. He hated Konoha and its people. He hated that none of them could see past his name to the flesh and bone. Uchiha. Uchiha. Uchiha. He hated that none of them would ever know his true self, know the person that he was. _(He has always detested that name. Always loved and hated his brother for destroying it, for soiling its reputation. He wishes that he could have been the one to drag the name to dirt but he was so afraid of the consequences. He hates consequences.)_

When the children in class spoke of him, they all admired his intelligence, his looks, his skill, his money... "He's an Uchiha. Obviously he's gonna be good at everything." They said. They expected perfection and excellence and that's what broke him. People would pretend to be his friend, pretend to know him to get in with his father, with his brother, with the Uchiha's, so he just stopped. He stopped making friends and seeking others. He closed himself off from everyone and adopted the aloof personality that kept them at bay.

When his brother massacred the Uchiha, it was like more weights were dropped on his shoulders. Revenge. _(Retaliation. Destruction. Blood. So much blood.) The _boy that I had always watched suddenly became a man. He distanced himself even further from the people around him and truly became an Uchiha. He was afraid that if he gave his heart to anyone _(like his Aniki, his dear brother who crushcrushcrushed him)_ they would betray him, as had happened in the past.

But I pushed. I pushed and pushed to make him be my friend. I tried my hardest to save him from his fate... but I failed.

Now, when I look at him, there's no humanity left in his eyes. No civility, no control, no compassion and no emotion. Just pure, undiluted rage and primal hatred.

He wants to destroy me. There's nothing left of my long time friend in this empty shell.

He blinks and the spell is broken. I'm no longer entranced by the blood coloured eyes. Feral. Animal. That's what comes to mind when I look at him now. His beautiful face is twisted in ferocious anger making him look like he's 40 years older than he is.

_I'm so sorry Sasuke. I couldn't save you from yourself. _


	2. Sakura

**Sakura**

Why did I love him?

To put it simply, he was perfection. In the beginning anyways.

He was the embodiment of strength and grace, a quiet individual who would exude an aura of authority without ever trying. He was handsome _(he probably always will be; I've seen pictures of his dad) _and intelligent.

What I really loved about him was his persistence. I remember that one day I found him training by himself in a very secluded area. I don't know how long I stood there and watched him toss blade after blade at the targets mounted on the trees around him _(he moved like a panther, like the kunai were just extensions of his body)_ but by the end of it he was dripping in sweat and he could hardly move. I couldn't understand why he was trying so hard, why he was pushing himself so hard. In fact, it wasn't many years later until I understood the true reason for his persistence. It wasn't until I heard about his brother that I understood what had made him such a disagreeable person.

It didn't change my feelings at all though and I loved him just the same (if not more) when we were assigned to team 7. Because of team 7, he became more than just a hero that I watched from far away. He became someone whom I knew, someone I spoke to and interacted with on a day to day basis. He became one of my best friends, one of the people I thought I would always be able to trust and rely on.

But then he left.

After that day, getting up in the mornings became something like Hell for me. I would wake up, hoping _(praying, imagining, wishing, longing)_ that everything had simply been a nightmare, that I had woken up and now everything would be back to the way it had been for those few, perfect months. Sasuke would be home, Naruto would be happy, Kakashi wouldn't hate himself as much as usual. All for naught though. I would take one look in the mirror and everything _(fucking reality)_ would come crashing down on me again in waves.

Eventually, I began to forget what I had loved about that boy. I began to realize all of his faults, all of his shortcomings and all the losses we _(Naruto, Kakashi and I. We.)_ had suffered at his hands. I still loved him, of course, but I was no longer this helpless little twit who would jump whenever he told me to. At some point along the way, I realized subconsciously that the Sasuke I knew had died long ago and he would never be returned to the way he was. I knew all this but I refused to accept it.

And he has ruined us. We._ (Naruto, Kakashi and I. We. WE.)_ We have been ruined.

It's all your fault, Sasuke. We have been ruined, but the saddest part is, _I still love you. _


	3. Kakashi

Sorry folks! This update has been awhile in coming! I had a really hard time writing this because it just doesn't seem like Kashi? I dunno. I may have to tweak later. Anyways, thanks to ike3 for reviewing! Please read and review! It's much appreciated! :)

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><p><strong>Kakashi<strong>

Why do I love him?

The truth is, that boy was me. Sasuke was me.

His faults had been my faults and his losses had been mine _(to an extent)_.

He hadn't had enough time to grow, though and that was where he differed from me. His growth had been put to a stop when the Snake Sannin approached him _(I grew when Obito left me and Rin left me. I became the bitter old man that I am now.)_ Sasuke _(my poor little prodigy, the son I never had)_ sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the strength to defeat a fallen angel. He became a demon in his own right and tossed his friends away.

A shinobi that doesn't follow the rules is trash, but those who abandon their friends are worse trash. _(See Obito? I remember. I remember what you taught me and I stand by the words you left me. I remember.) _

You abandoned your friends and now I owe it to them to put an end to you, to stop you from further tarnishing the image of the boy that you were _(the boy that we all loved, you left us why did you leave us)_ and ruining yourself anymore than you have. You lost yourself Sasuke. We tried to save you, Naruto and Sakura _(the poor kids they tried so hard to bring you back, but each time they came home empty handed, broken hearted, bloodied and damaged bodies)_ but you wouldn't let us.

You pushed us away. And for what? Power. Revenge.

What did it give you? What did it leave you with? In the dark of the night when you lie alone in an empty underground cave, what do you think of? What do you see before you fall asleep?

Do you see the face of the girl you loved? _(You know you do. Or did. Maybe you still do. Do you?)_

Do you see the face of your brothers? _(Either of them? The blood brother and the bonded one both love you more than life itself. They would give their lives for you, but how do you repay them?)_

Do you see the face of your mentors? _(I know I wasn't much, but I helped you a little bit, right? please say I did? At least, I put you on the path of life, but what did the Snake do? He destroyed that path and used its bricks to build an imperturbable wall.)_

I don't know what you see Sasuke, but I know what I see. I see the face of my teacher, _(ah Sensei. It's been awhile.)_ the faces of my team mates, _(you guys are here too, huh?)_ the face of my father, _(hey Dad. I forgive you, you know? You don't have to wait here anymore.)_ the faces of my students _(I'm sorry Naruto. I'm sorry Sakura. I'm sorry Sasuke. I couldn't protect you guys from the hardships of life and I couldn't keep you safe from the demons of the day. I tried though?)_

I'm sorry, Sasuke. I couldn't save you from yourself.


End file.
